10 Steps To Badass
Being badass is: Confident. Sexy. Successful. Self Reliant. Hot.
It is not about being tough, arrogant or selfish; it’s about living a full life feeling confident in any situation. Self-esteem is the key, it’s the difference between thriving or simply surviving. Many things can strike a blow to confidence, self-esteem and self-image. Every person has the right to make their dreams come true. Often, the main obstacle is not giving yourself the chance because of a lack of self-confidence. Experiencing low self-esteem can be serious, changing your destiny and living a life less than you deserve.
1)Don’t compare. Facebook is NOT REAL. Comparing oneself to others is always a recipe for disaster. Today, we are bombarded with hundreds of tv channels & tons of social media outlets, all touting how others are living large. Smoke and mirrors, people, smoke and mirrors.
Buying into social media profiles can be disaster for one’s self-esteem if you compare your real life to someone’s edited & photoshopped version of theirs. This is never a good idea. You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Besides, if that person isn’t paying your bills, and you’re not paying theirs, who cares what anyone is doing!
2) Face your insecurities.
What makes your palms sweat and your stomach churn? A good place to start is to think about those things that you wouldn’t want others to know about you. Now think about why you think, act or behave in the way that causes you to feel at risk? (e.g., if your social life is compromised, ask yourself why? Is it due to how you’re feeling about your appearance, education, finances? And so on.)
3) Write it down.
What situations, people, experiences are you avoiding due to the feelings you identified as holding you back?
Write them down. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle, on the left side write down the thing/feeling that holds you back. On the right side, answer the questions “Is this real?” with a yes or no. Below that yes or no – write down what you can do about it.
If, for example, you write down that you don’t go to the gym because you feel too overweight to go (and you are overweight), answer yes. Now the hard part, you are overweight, okay, big deal. Isn’t that what gyms are for? Isn’t the gym the perfect place for you to spend some free time? If you go to the gym, do you increase your chances of solving the weight issue, feel better and do more things that make you happy? YES!
Trust me, when you walk into the gym or fitness class for the first time, you will be terrified. So what! Conquering a fear is empowering! The second time will be easier, the third time even easier than the second, and so on! Even if, for some reason, you don’t lose any weight, can you imagine how much more powerful you will feel just by walking through the door? You go to the gym, you work out and you have conquered that demon. Excellent, you have exercised your confidence muscle and stopped living in fear in this area!
4) Make the commitment
It’s hard to slay dragons every day, but that’s what must be done to build confidence.
Work on one thing at a time. Don’t go on a diet, begin a workout regime, quit smoking and stop drinking all at once. That’s a recipe for failure.
There is an old saying; How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
I find that in areas of health & fitness, for example, when one begins with changing their eating habits they start feeling better and want to begin working out. You may need to begin with quitting smoking, then improve your nutrition, then add a new fitness strategy. Find the path that makes upgrading your life as easy as possible and you will have success.
5) Ask for help.
Accountability greatly improves success. A skyscraper cannot be built by just one man.
If you’re unsure about what to eat, work with someone who specializes in nutrition plans and products. If you’re unsure about what exercises are best for you, work with a trainer. You can work with a trainer on a regular basis or, if the cost is prohibitive, you can work with a trainer to devise a work out regime that you can do on your own. If you go this route, it would be great to have a workout buddy or someone who you check in with regularly to report your activity level, current weight and body measurements. Yes, it’s embarrassing if your accountability partner is a friend or family member, but it is far better than living a life of regret.
I talk a lot about health and fitness in my examples because, in my experience, so many self-esteem issues stem from body image. We can feel old, ugly, overweight, embarrassed, the list goes on. Thinking and feeling this way will hold you back from so many things; socializing, job change, vacationing, personal relationships, and more.
The strategies for improving confidence in any area of your life are the same; face the issue, know it’s going to be challenging and change what needs to be changed. It’s simple but it’s not easy. We truly are all created equal and you can have everything you desire if you believe you can and take action.
Note: Don’t ask for permission. If choosing an accountability partner who is a friend or family member, please make sure it is someone with a positive mindset who will celebrate your success with you! This is your life, you don’t need to play at a level you where you are uncomfortable because someone else wants to keep you there to make themselves feel better.
6) Make it fun.
When starting on a new path, don’t dread the steps you have to take. If you are changing how you eat, don’t focus on eliminating soda from your daily diet. Focus on how happy you are every evening that you eliminated 400-600 empty calories from your intake that day! Think about how much sooner you will be in your skinny jeans by skipping the Mountain Dew and, be honest, did you really miss it? Honestly, wasn’t that iced tea with stevia just as satisfying?
Stay on track by focusing on how you’re going to feel when you reach your goal. This will get you through the rough days and, if you have a blip, don’t quit. No one is perfect, blips happen, it’s consistency that will get you an improved body, new job, more fulfilling life, whatever your heart desires.
7) Celebrate your victories!
Big or small celebrate your success! It’s important to enjoy the ride, be proud of the fact that you sent out 10 job applications or made it to the gym 3 times this week! That’s huge! Change can be terrifying, a weak minded person would find an excuse not to do it, but you’re not weak! Celebrate your strengths, share your news with your accountability partner, be proud!
8) Be grateful.
Be grateful for the strength you are finding as you take whatever steps necessary to live life on your own terms. Be grateful for your self-discipline, it’s seeing you through the rough spots. Be grateful for the people helping you along the way. Be grateful that, as you grow and leave the pain of low self-esteem behind, you are able to be an example to others.
The more you live in a state of gratitude, the more things you will have to be thankful for in your life.
9) Make another list.
Write down all the things you like about yourself. Don’t be shy! Throw modesty out the window and appreciate yourself.
You don’t have to show this to anyone, but having this list can come in handy. If you’re having trouble thinking of something to be grateful for, check this list, it will help you stay in the correct mindset and see you to your goal and remind you why you deserve to have the best life has to offer.
10) Live like you’ve already got it!
Develop a vision for yourself and your lifestyle. What does your life look like? How do you dress, move, act? Where do you live and work? Who do you spend your time with?
We’ve all heard ‘fake it til you make it’, but you know what, it’s true! Everything you have today is the result of your previous thoughts, feelings and images for your life. The thoughts you think make you do the things you do and have the life you have. Simple.
Anchor your actions to your vision. This means walk like you mean, talk like you’re already there, connect your actions to your new thoughts and you’ll get to your goal much quicker.
Change the way you’re thinking, stay consistent with the thought. Present yourself outwardly acting ‘as if’ the new, positive change has already occurred The life, the thing, the outcome you focus on will be here before you know it. Stay consistent.
If you have any questions, or need help with anything, please contact me! Click on the ‘Work With Me’ tab and send me a message.
xo
